Now comes online ordination of priests and ministers.
When I was entering the ministry, I had to complete my master
degree at an established university seminary before they ordained
me. Today, though, we have thousands of untrained (or poorly
trained) clergy out there running churches and various
ministries. This is most prevalent in the roadside “Gospel”
churches, small churches that proclaim that they are the
way, the truth, and the light. You see their signs
everywhere: “We are the road to salvation,” “We can give you the
keys to the Kingdom,” and, “Satan has already reserved
your place in Hell.”
Many of the pastors of these churches completed some sort of a
rudimentary training program, too often, it seems, emphasizing
the Old Testament notion of a dangerous, punishing God who turns
people into pillars of salt, smacks whole nations with plagues and pestilence, and even sends conquering pagan armies to sweep away entire countries of God’s own “chosen” people to be
enslaved, raped, tortured, and worked to death.
Many of these churches simply ordain new clergy from within
their congregations to go out and continue wreaking this kind of
spiritual havoic.
Very sad.
But, the picture gets worse. Today, we have internet
websites “ordaining” people as “ministers” with no
training whatsoever.
Oh my.
Some appear to be doing it with profit as a motive. Others,
though, appear to be offering “ordinations” out of sheer
insanity. I can’t think of any other reason. Can you?
From time-to-time, I’m asked if those ordinations are even
legal. Yes, apparently, in many jurisdictions. (Check with a
good corporate attorney in your community – one with a strong
knowledge base regarding churches, or at least not-for-profit
corporations.) Generally, once ordained, you can baptize (most
churches feel anyone can do this in a pinch), marry, bury,
preach and, although the thought is scary, most states even
permit ordained people to counsel. I'll be honest with you:
many trained psychologists and certified social workers are
less-than-excellent counselors. And, they have master degrees or PhD's! The thought of having people lacking any clinical
training advising others how to conduct their lives (often
instilling the fear of Eternal Condemnation for failure to
obey!) is a near-terrifying
idea.... But, in most areas, it would be legal.
Because of the constitutionally-mandated separation of church
and state, the government has been reluctant to meddle in
establishing academic or other criteria for ordination and
ministry. Which is, on balance, for the best. But, the result
is a chaotic mix of ministries, all claiming to have The
Way, things like proving your faith by handling live
rattlesnakes, having sex with dozens of people, denying
Christmas, beating children, prohibiting wearing of jewelry or
dancing or singing or any kind of rejoicing. You know them.
Maybe someone in your family or circle of friends has fallen
into their clutches.
But, there’s something worse, even more insidious. There are
the churches who insist that, if you want to avoid Hell, you
must give and give and give of your financial resources. You
have to support glorious palaces of worship (which need to be
heated and air conditioned – with your money). And, you have to
do this while your children go without proper clothing,
sometimes without nutritionally important food.
I know of a huge church that requires that you submit your Personal Financial Statement to them before being inducted...and...instead of tithing...you are required to set up an program whereby your bank account is automatically debited every week, with the money going to the church! If Christ hadn't risen from the dead, he'd be turning over in his grave!
Worse than this, even, are those who do the very thing
Christ warned us never to do: they judge others. I find
it curious – and profoundly sad – that we have so many highway
intersections in America with competing churches on each
corner. And, all claim to be The Way to salvation, and
your friends, neighbors, co-workers, and family who attend the
other churches are all condemned to eternal damnation.
And, the internet isn’t doing a lot to improve the situation, as
increasing numbers of untrained (or, as I have said, poorly-
trained) people assume positions of leadership as ministers. The
internet is, in and of itself, a wonderful gift from God. But,
it can be mishandled, like fire, or life-saving prescription
drugs.
The internet has done so much to transform our lives,
brought so much convenience and so much good to us. Yet, one
has to be prudent when taking from the internet financial
advice, accepting medical “facts” – and you must use caution and
skepticism when looking into online seminary education.
Is there a source for online ministerial studies that’s “legit”
and that really gives us a basis for beginning a ministry?
Yes.
In fact, there are probably several, as distance learning
becomes more and more a way of obtaining an education. But, the
one I know of and can recommend is The Center for Ministerial Education.
This program is nominally associated with The Love Church
Worldwide, which is a small-but vibrant and ethical Christian denomination that emphasizes the
teachings of Christ as found in the four Gospels, and in the
Christian apocrypha, known to and studied by theologians. (I am
not a member of this denomination, nor on their payroll!) The
founder started his Christian ministry as a Catholic, was
associated with secular missionaries, worked for peace and
justice, and has served in United Methodist parishes, as well as
headed a Christian not-for-profit spiritual counseling and
healing center. To the best of my knowledge, their program is
legitimate. They offer continuing education, understanding that
a fledgling minister is going to go “out there” and suddenly
realize the need for more answers, more training, more
mentoring. And, the best part is that their training is affordable. They are endowed, the costs underwritten as a part of their ministry, although they do charge very nominal administrative fee.
If you want to become a priest or minister, my bias is that you
should enroll in a reputable on-site seminary. But, if you are
coming to the ministry as a late-in-life vocation, or have other
reasons for needing or wanting to study online, I would
recommend The Center for Ministerial Education
They're small enough to get to know you and be truly helpful
at a personal level. They'll give you credit for your life
experience. They’ll share their knowledge of
God’s love. They won’t fill you with bad theology. They’ll
excite you about learning more and more as you go along. And,
you’ll have at least a solid rudimentary basis for going into
the real world and starting to serve (yes, serve others!) as a
minister. They'll even grant you an honorary bachelors of
divinity.
NOTE: The Rev. Martin Thomas is a 30-year veteran pastor with the United Methodist denomination.
"For those who have wanted to become ministers or priests in service to others: we offer online ordination, distance learning, studies"
